A heart-broken friend of mine was lamenting in pain; ''Stupid Cupid!!, Love is a myth; pointless, painful and overrated.''
Cupid, i believe, is the most hated celestial being. He seems misguided and mischievous. Sometimes he shoots only one of individuals to be paired, sometimes he shoots seemingly a wrong pair. Sometimes he shoots one person deep and merely pokes the other! Lol. Funny analysis but seeminly true.
i dont believe Cupid is misguided or stupid; or responsible for broken hearts.
its the individuals who have false unrealistic expectations, ego problems, insecurity issues, shallow minds, unforgiving timid-hearts and promiscous tendencies., that are to blame.
Just like Adam and Eve, you are the architect of your own pain.
I can preach to you on forgiving and understanding your partner, i can talk about being secure about your partner and relationship (trust me, i learnt that the hard way), i can start a lecture on supporting your partner, the role of finance in romance. I can choose to do all that but i'd rather not. I prefer to lay down the facts in a relationship, hard and cold..
Understand this;
1) If You come into the relationship expecting ur partner to make you happy, be perfect and with your fairytale idiosyncrasies; YOU WILL BE DISAPPOINTED, YOUR HEART WILL CRASH and THE PIECES WILL BE MICROSCOPIC in nature. The earlier you realize that people will screw up and hurt you, even if they love you; the better for you! Nothing good comes easy and without pain. To get the juice out, there must be a squeeze. Coach yourself to be humane to erring partners.
2) If You take on a full time job, marking, monitoring, supervising your partner's activities through a rifle scope, ready to gun down any suspicious rival; YOUR RELATIONSHIP will spiral downwards and crash so fast your head will spin, even Humpty-Dumpty will be amazed by the fall! No human enjoys being under suspicion, no human will tolerate for long 24hrs survelliance by their partners. Confidence comes from knowing your partner trusts you.
3) If You share your problems with your emotionally-damaged single/hooked friends, expect the counsel of Ahitophel, no more, no less! A chronically sick doctor cannot treat a sick patient . Look for friends in healthy relationships and ask for counsel.
4) If You spend time caring more about people's opinions about your relationship,
Than working on the deficiencies, you need to question your emotional sanity. Only you and your partner know where it hurts, where you both have been and are going to. Humans are manipulative in nature and can tongue-lash your relationship out of jealousy, frustration, etc. Protect what you have! Keep your issues, private in both words and conduct.
5) If you leave your partner because you met someone seemingly ''better'', Your expectations are bound to be cut short badly. In a world of uncertainties, that would be a most drastic move to be regretted. Some humans are superficial, attractive on the outside; shallow on the inside! Not to sound mean; painted Sepulchres. character and outward appearance are on two different levels.
6) Know when What You feel is a crush, a basic attraction/fondness and when You are in love.. Know the difference, understand the difference!
7) know what you can handle and stick to it. if Distance, finance and age difference is an important consideration for you, stick to it. If however you choose to compromise a bit, stick to your compromise!
8) If you take an open wound from a previous relationship into the next one, chances are, you will not heal. It would escalate from a simple wound to a huge sore, next thing you find yourself blaming the entire generation of the opposite sex for your frustration. Your partner cannot compensate for what your ex did. They should not pay for the crime They didnot commit.. Forgive, Let it go before you mingle again.
9) Stay friends with your EXs, if its possible. No matter how messy the break up was, Forgive whatever needs to be forgiven and stay friends with them. You may need them someday, they may need you.
Finally,
A Friend after my own heart, Jay, says all the time..
''Before you find happiness, you may have to meet the wrong people with beat-down egoistic thought-lines, you may even meet a few jerks, kiss a few frogs; but dont let it reduce your standards, raise your bars instead, stay strong and humane, Love is real, it is a beautiful thing.!''
Cupid isnt stupid after all..
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